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Entry tags:
application | asgard
OOC Information;
Name; Mitsu
Personal Journal; devilfine
Contact; bloopweep@gmail.com
Other Characters; N/A
IC Information;
Character Name; Sakura Matou
Canon; Fate/Stay Night
Canon Point; Post Day 6 of the Heaven's Feel route-- When she goes to sleep after talking with Shirou.
Age; According to Fate/Stay Night, all characters in the series are over 18. Obviously, this is not true, since Sakura was around 6 years old in the previous war, which was 10 years ago, so she is most likely 16.
House; Hel.
Power; Shadow control.
Personality;
Samples;
Network Sample; Here!
Log Sample;
If there was something Sakura knew, it was Shirou Emiya's home. After all, she's been tending to it for the past half year. It was warm and comfortable, unlike the worm infested basement that was her room, and it gave her something that she hasn't had for a very long time. She's been trying to deny this fact for a while now, because someone like her didn't belong in a place as bright as that house, she didn't belong somewhere so humane, but the thought still nestled itself somewhere between her lungs. Shirou Emiya's house is Sakura's first home since her childhood.
She likes his kitchen, she knows where everything is, and what she needs to do in it. It makes her feel in control of everything, and no one comes in suddenly to bother her or demand something. While cooking, she feels part of something, perhaps of the odd little family Shirou has with Taiga, or maybe just part of his life. The sizzling of meat or fish, the rhythmic thumps of the knife against the wooden cutting board, it relaxes her, brings her a bit of peace. There's a lot of things that come from being in that kitchen, but none of them bad.
Walking through the hallways is not something to dread either, and she walks with her head held high for the first time in ten years, sometimes humming or even smiling to herself. She peers into all the empty rooms, making sure that there isn't any dust accumulating, and to air them out as well. Sakura has never learned how to clean, but Shirou and Taiga taught her, so the thought of airing out a closed room isn't something strange. It used to be, though. Everything was strange before.
Why should she smile for no reason? Why would she clean if no one asked her to? Why would she go so far for someone who was already happy?
She doesn't think she needs to answer those questions, because, for once, she doesn't need to. It's something she wants to do, and there doesn't need to be a reason for that, however strange it used to be for Sakura Matou. This is her home, or at least she wants it to be, so it's not strange at all for her to do this.
Name; Mitsu
Personal Journal; devilfine
Contact; bloopweep@gmail.com
Other Characters; N/A
IC Information;
Character Name; Sakura Matou
Canon; Fate/Stay Night
Canon Point; Post Day 6 of the Heaven's Feel route-- When she goes to sleep after talking with Shirou.
Age; According to Fate/Stay Night, all characters in the series are over 18. Obviously, this is not true, since Sakura was around 6 years old in the previous war, which was 10 years ago, so she is most likely 16.
House; Hel.
Power; Shadow control.
Personality;
At first glance, Sakura is a shy girl who rarely smiles in front of strangers, quiet, and the epitome of reserved. With a downcast expression, she never makes any friends at her school, and only appears to go through the motions of things, instead of actually living. However, she does have her good traits. She is respectful, and once she gets close to someone, she'll be cheerful, and do their best to aid them however she can. However, this is mostly a farce that Sakura does to not make people worry about her. She is always trying to appear alright in front of her loved ones, since she doesn't want to trouble anyone.
"Broken things do not repair themselves, and lost things never return. If you wanted to save her, you should have done so eleven years ago."
The only word that can adequately describe Sakura is broken. She's been abandoned, used, abused; you name it. Abandoned by her family and left in the care of the Matou family, they forced Sakura to undergo nightmarish training so she would be able to use their magic. Dropped in a pit of worms that violated every crevice, it is even stated that some of this training drives most people insane in just one night. They put poison in her food, and was often hit and raped by her adoptive brother. From a young age, Sakura has never had freedom nor her own will. She was more of a thing, a tool, than a human.
In time, she learned and accepted that she could never escape, and that it would be better to do as they say, for she is powerless against them. She forgot what it was to want things, to have fun or what it was that made her happy. Sakura stopped having emotions, and started closing herself in so that she could bear with everything. She's not so kind as to forgive her family and the world for ignoring her, but because she lost her emotions and resigned herself to thinking that it was simply meant to be that way, she didn't blame anyone for her troubles for a long time.
Because of her abuse, she also thought of killing herself many times. She also thought that maybe it was ok to be angry, to curse and hate, before berating herself and thinking that she is a horrible person. It's obvious that Sakura is very confused and vexed, for she can't make her mind up about anything. In the end, thanks to her situation, Sakura began to hate herself instead of everyone else.
Sakura has developed a very twisted personality. She often contradicts herself and doesn't know what is right or wrong. Although she is kind to those she loves, Sakura can also be passive aggressive, jealous, cunning, and very resentful. She does not want to be this way, and often tries to push back any dark thoughts, but it tends to slip a lot. At one point, she even wished for Shirou to lose his limbs so he wouldn't fight and get hurt anymore. Or, when Saber was defeated, she was happy that she was no longer here, even though she knew what that meant. No, Sakura is not evil at heart, but because of all that has been done to her, she is bitter. She doesn't want her happiness taken from her, and she doesn't want other people to be happy while she is in a living hell. It's wrong and she knows it, but Sakura is so frustrated with her way of life and unchanging situation that she doesn't know what else to do, or what else to think.
She's created a barrier against hurtful words and abusive actions. She is stubborn, and will not back down once she's decided on something. Sakura may not have a way of fighting back, but she has blocked anything and everything from coming in except for what she wants to let in, creating the strongest emotional fortress. It's so great, that she was even able to get back to her senses after becoming insane. No, it might be possible that she never truly went insane, and was just unleashing all her pent-up emotions.
"…It was clear to me last night. She is special when she is with you, but I believe she behaves differently in other circumstances. Sakura is liberated from her guilty conscience only when she is with you."
The person who is most important to Sakura, and definitely the person who's most changed her, is Shirou. From the first time she saw him, he helped her. Someone who never gave up, who didn't complain, who took her in and treated her like family; it's no wonder she fell for him. The normally gloomy and downcast Sakura suddenly began to smile, to feel happiness, to regain her once lost emotions. With Shirou, she could play house and cook, laugh and enjoy time with people who treated her kindly. She could forget about everything for a little while.
With his help, Sakura stops being the broken and useless puppet, and she starts regaining her sense of self. For once in a very, very long time, Sakura smiles brightly, and it's all thanks to Shirou. He may not have done so consciously, but in a way, he saved Sakura. He could never truly fix her, but he saves her from going over the edge. After meeting him, Sakura becomes slightly more confident, if only a bit. She begins to ask for things, to want, and to enjoy. By his side, Sakura acts like a normal girl, one who smiles and laughs and can look at people in the eye. The Sakura we see for most of Fate/Stay Night is both the real Sakura and the farce she puts on to not worry Shirou.
"Why!? It was different for me. We were sisters, we were born to the same family, but I had nothing! I was trapped in the room with worms and was treated as an object!"
"You just kept smiling, having no idea. You took no notice of the miserable girl and lived happily in the Tohsaka household. Why…!? We're sisters and we're both human, so how come you're the only one smiling like that…!?"
Someone that gave her a bit of hope when she was younger was her older sister, Rin Tohsaka. Rin was her ideal, the person she most wanted to be like, and the person she most resented. Rin had everything Sakura had ever wanted, and everything she lost. At first, she believed that, since they were sisters, she'd come and save her. They were family, right? Why wouldn't she? So she waited, clinging to that sliver hope, until time passed and she realized that she'd never come. The confident, bright older sister that Sakura had pinned her last remaining hope on was living happily with her family and had forgotten her completely. Although Sakura had resigned herself to her fate, as always, there was always some part of her that longed for that life, and that hated Rin Tohsaka for being the one to live it. She sought both Rin's acknowledgment and love, and her demise.
At least, she thought that she hated Rin. In truth. any hate that Sakura feels is nothing but her inability to do anything about her situation, resulting in a lot of frustration and anger. Not to mention that she is someone who dislikes conflict, and doesn't want to hurt or burden anyone. From start to finish, she always tried to deal with things on her own, so she can't do anything but hold in all her complaints and let them simmer until they boil over.
Samples;
Network Sample; Here!
Log Sample;
If there was something Sakura knew, it was Shirou Emiya's home. After all, she's been tending to it for the past half year. It was warm and comfortable, unlike the worm infested basement that was her room, and it gave her something that she hasn't had for a very long time. She's been trying to deny this fact for a while now, because someone like her didn't belong in a place as bright as that house, she didn't belong somewhere so humane, but the thought still nestled itself somewhere between her lungs. Shirou Emiya's house is Sakura's first home since her childhood.
She likes his kitchen, she knows where everything is, and what she needs to do in it. It makes her feel in control of everything, and no one comes in suddenly to bother her or demand something. While cooking, she feels part of something, perhaps of the odd little family Shirou has with Taiga, or maybe just part of his life. The sizzling of meat or fish, the rhythmic thumps of the knife against the wooden cutting board, it relaxes her, brings her a bit of peace. There's a lot of things that come from being in that kitchen, but none of them bad.
Walking through the hallways is not something to dread either, and she walks with her head held high for the first time in ten years, sometimes humming or even smiling to herself. She peers into all the empty rooms, making sure that there isn't any dust accumulating, and to air them out as well. Sakura has never learned how to clean, but Shirou and Taiga taught her, so the thought of airing out a closed room isn't something strange. It used to be, though. Everything was strange before.
Why should she smile for no reason? Why would she clean if no one asked her to? Why would she go so far for someone who was already happy?
She doesn't think she needs to answer those questions, because, for once, she doesn't need to. It's something she wants to do, and there doesn't need to be a reason for that, however strange it used to be for Sakura Matou. This is her home, or at least she wants it to be, so it's not strange at all for her to do this.